JOURNAL

April Encouragment:
I heard a quote this week that hit me so hard right in the middle of a really hard week.
“Noah looked like an idiot until it started to rain… Keep building.”
I’m currently walking through a lot of difficult things within my heart and within my family. There is not a lot of details that I want to share at this point but just that my week has looked dark. And I have fought with God. I have told Him that instead of His will, I want my will to be done. Because from where I am sitting, my will looks a lot better than His. 
But instead of my will being done, He has taken my hand.
He has held me so so close.
He has cried with me.
He has cried for me.
He has fought for me.
He has been my defender.
He has been my shoulder.
He has told me that He sees the end of this story from the beginning of it.
He has told me that He has my best in mind.
These past two weeks I have felt a little bit of what Noah must have felt while he was building a huge boat in the middle of dry land. People must have thought he was crazy, that he was an idiot for trusting God in a dry season with no water to build a huge boat. That’s how I feel. I feel like I am crazy. Like if I explained the situation it would only make God sound cruel and confusing and not trustworthy. But I know that not long after Noah was done building the ark, the floods came. What God told him would happen, became Noah’s reality. He looked like an idiot until it started to rain. And even when the rain didn’t come, he kept building. So right now, I am going to keep building. I am going to keep trusting. I am going to keep putting my confidence in Him because He has shown me time + time again that He is trustworthy. And I am going to hang onto what He has told me will happen, I am going to keep builiding – until it starts to rain again.

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